I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
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