I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
