I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
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