physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
Randomize