evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
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