so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
