Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
Randomize
