3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
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