Taylor Swift is so right about you.
Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
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