They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
Randomize
