Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
Randomize
