no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize