State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
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