Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
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