we have pet lesbian snakes
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
Randomize
