My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
I asked a girl to buy her a drink, she had I have a boyfriend, so I said, well i have a goldfish, she said what? I replied, oh I'm sorry I thought we were talking about shit that doesnt matter.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Randomize
