that's an acceptable place to lick
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
Randomize
