Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize