no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
Randomize
