And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
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