i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
its liver damage thursday
Randomize
