remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
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