hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
The police scanner is talking about you again....
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
Randomize
