i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Randomize
