I'm gonna have a badass scar
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
I just blew my weed a kiss
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
