they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
Randomize
