No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
I have feelings that need drinking.
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Randomize
