Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
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