Already got asked if we're dating
Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
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