You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
Randomize
