One girl and one boy is just not enough.
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Randomize