i just ordered a pitcher of margaritas for me and a friend but she called and canceled. oh well, looks like im getting trashed alone.
the waiter who hardly speaks english told me "i go get your medicine now"
this medicine is soooo good.
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize