every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Randomize
