If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
