Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize
