Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
I yelled at your uterus for you.
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