dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Randomize
