I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
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