Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
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