So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
Ladies don't puke and tell
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
Btw I puked in your glovebox
Randomize
