And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
Randomize
