boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
