Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Randomize
