One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize