after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
Randomize
