She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
Randomize
