sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
Randomize
