had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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