can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
Randomize
