I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
Randomize
