he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
