It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
Randomize
