Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
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