What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Randomize
