I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
Randomize
