Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
