yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
