Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
Randomize
