How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
they need to just BURY HIM!
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
Randomize
