you traded sex for a burrito?
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
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