i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
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