I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Randomize
