"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
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