Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
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