Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
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