i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize