for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Randomize
