Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Randomize
