Do you still have your period?
is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Randomize
