I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
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